Aunt Lang sent Mommy a link recently. While Mommy isn’t really the touchy-feely type of person, this talk made Mommy think twice about it, especially about how she teaches me.
“And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children. They’re hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not so say, “Look at her, she’s perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect — make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade.” That’s not our job. Our job is to look and say, “You know what? You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” That’s our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we’ll end the problems I think that we see today.”
Mommy thinks that when we look at our kids, it is necessary to have high expectations for them, but to make sure that they are loved even if they are struggling and not successful. This is often difficult in Asian families because love is often not expressed verbally or physically and is somehow wrongfully tied into a child’s educational or career success.
Mommy is an amateur at this whole child-rearing thing, but every little bit of sound advice from experts help. Thanks for the link, Aunt Lang!